liveapathofheart.blog

Tag: fuck it

  • Blue

    Really all it was 

    Was a staring into the sun

    A twirling in ecstatic motion

    A mind spun and a heart undone

    But only for a moment 

    A moment of pure catapult ness into the ethers. 

    And pouf!

    Gone. 

    We must have only been mistaken 

  • Fuck that old man, his bottles piled high

    Corrals are empty

    Barn walls are falling down

    His hands are empty

    His mouth though, is full of magical bullshit still

    And that old dog of his is about to die

    But my heart still surrounds him

    And there is nothing I can do about that

    But watch

    Remembering him riding ahead, breaking branches, breaking trail

    Teaching me to be quiet in the mountains, giving me that gift

    Teaching me his magic

    I hold him now where I can

    And I’ll watch him ride off ahead of me into the sunset

    On a horse called alcoholism

  • In the Spring

    In the spring

    When my heart is hung out to dry

    Birds chirp in the budding lilac trees

    And I crinkle my eyes in the sunshine 

    And feel grateful I can sleep with the windows wide

    Cooling my skin

    I clunk through the house farting around, intermittently happy and intermittently crumpled on the ground or in the leather chair or the bed, wondering if I’ll ever, ever be suitable again for human consumption. 

    There’s no room here for someone else and simultaneously too much fucking freedom and space and nothing to fill it with but me. 

    My heart. 

    Eyes and hands looking in

    Growing… something. 

    It seems more precious than could have been baked before. 

    With you. 

    I am trying so hard here. 

    And trying to stop trying. 

    To let go

    To surrender god dammit!

    But I haven’t yet been able to stop. 

    Sitting in my chair with my bless-Ed broken foot, accidentally falling in love with you over and over again.

    It’s gotta stop. 

    Cause here comes the Sun.